Tyler David Rick

I doubt anyone will ever see this, but it's worth writing; Well to me anywayss.

This boy had, and still has, my heart. Since the first time I met him in August of 2008.He's sweet as the finest chocolate, but mean as the most poisonous snake on the Earth. He's been through hell. And he's put me through it too. Even though he doesn't love me the way i love him, I can't help but fall for him. It's one of those "secret loves" since we aren't even suppose to be talking to each other. I gave him my world, and once he realized it, he kept it from rocking so much, then *BAM* earth quake. and i was left to rebuild everything from the start, the trust, trying to piece my heart together, my "strength" I'm known for, EVERYTHING. I couldn't trust anyone with my secrets, or my heart, or my world. It's been almost a year, since I had that talk with him. The one that every girl dreads having, because she's not sure if he feels the same way. Well, needless to say, that conversation didn't go well. He told me he still loved his ex still, since he had been with her for 2 and half years (Even though they weren't together at that time) and he'd never be able to love me like he loved her. Sad thing is, he was dating some whore not even 4 days later. (Haha)
He was the only one who could stop me from doing anything stupid to myself, the only one who could make me laugh when I was crying my eyes out.

Why?

Why do I care so much about you?

Why do I constantly love you?

Why do I constantly think of you?

Why am I so protective over you?

Why haven’t I given up hope for you, yet?

Because, you’re a part of me, if I lost you, I’d lose myself.

I miss you so much.. I just want things back to the way they were last year. Things were so simple, even though it wasn’t that easy. I miss getting phone calls and text saying “you’re my best friend I love you” . Why can’t we go back to then and stay there? Before everything blew up into pieces, before all the stupid drama. Sometimes I wish I would have never “introduced” myself at Hadrian's.. I wish I wouldn’t have fallen for you and let you tear me apart to leave me alone to build it all back up with most of the pieces missing… What you and no one else does understand is you were the guy I fell for the hardest, you were my world. I wish you still were, everything reminds me of you. I can’t go a day let alone an hour without thinking of you. I’d still do anything and everything for you...even though I know you’d never do the same for me. I can’t stop the way I feel no matter how hard I try. It as though “fate” wants us to work things out but no one wants to make that move… I know you had and still have your reasons for doing what you did. And you know it killed me, if you didn’t I think by now you should have figured it out… It’s so easy to lay here and write about you I could do this for hours, days, and weeks. Nothing last forever though. I hope I never become a burden or anything that would stop you from doing what you want to do. Even if I don’t agree with it. That’s all I want and ever will want is for you to be happy. Even if I’m not the reason you’re happy. I’ll probably never be completely over you but I hope my feelings die out…at least some part. I wish you could see how much you’re no longer a want it’s a need for me to see you, hear your voice or just read one simple message from you just to know that for a second, I crossed your mind. You’ve made me become a different person, in some ways I thank you for all of it. In others I just want to strangle you, go back in time and do everything different. Then the other part wants to do it all the same… and that part keeps thinking if I do just one little thing different we could have been something great. I believe we could have made the world jealous. I’ve never stopped loving you.

I like the way you sound in the morning. We’re on the phone & without a warning I realize your laugh is the best sound I have ever heard I like the way I can’t keep my focus I watch you talk, you didn’t notice I hear the words but all I can think is we should be together Every time you smile, I smile And every time you shine, Ill shine for you I’m feeling you baby Don’t be afraid to jump then fall Jump then fall into me Baby, I’m never gonna leave you Say that you wanna be with me too Cause I’m gonna stay through it all So jump then fall I’ve never been so wrapped up, honey I like the way you’re everything I’ve ever wanted I had time to think it over and all I can say is come closer Take a deep breath and jump then fall into me Cause every time you smile, I smile And every time you shine, Ill shine for you. -Taylor Swift "Jump Then Fall"